Shattered One Sunday

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“I don’t remember anything about the accident,” Grice said. “I don’t remember any pain from it or the actual accident. I had bruises on the inside of each hand, because I grabbed the steering wheel so tight, but otherwise, there was no physical damage. It was all head trauma. I think not remembering any of it is a blessing.”

Caroline, however, cannot forget. She was the one who saw the right side of her husband’s skull removed and frozen for three months to relieve pressure on his brain. She was by his side as he laid there in a coma for six weeks. The skull fragment was re-attached in December 2013.

“It’s still a little hard when I think back on it all,” said Caroline, choked briefly by an emotional pang. “I couldn’t talk about it to the girls. I was in denial and I wanted to see him. We had a lot of friends there, and his police friends were flooding the hospital wanting to know what was going on. The doctors showed me the MRI, and it revealed Matt had a brain bleed. I remember being asked by the doctors if Matt was an organ donor, and I had to explain to the girls what happened to him.

“I still have a hard time when I think back on it,” she added. “The girls knew something was wrong by looking at me. I didn’t want them to see their father until I saw him first. When they finished the surgery, the doctors were preparing us for the worst. In my heart, I had a feeling he was going to make it.”

Harper was 7 and Finley 3 at the time. Grice would take them everywhere, to the gym, to his fights. They grew up viewing him as a strongman. Caroline did not want the last vision of their father to be lying there helpless with tubes running in and out of him. Caroline tried her best to don an optimistic mask.

When the swelling in Grice’s brain subsided, Caroline was told that he would never be the same, that the family’s quality of life would be seriously altered, that her husband may not be able to walk again and that his ability to function would be greatly diminished.

“For me, it was important to keep the girls in as normal a setting as we could,” Caroline said. “I never wanted Matt to be alone, and we switched things up with the girls, where someone was always watching him and I rotated watching them. The first time I knew the lights came on was about a month after the accident, but there were some problems ahead.”

Grice could not recognize Caroline or the girls. He was stable, though he was not able to walk or talk, and his quality of life was still in question.

“Not knowing us I think hurt the most,” Caroline said. “We were like strangers to him. He recognized his mother. He didn’t know me or the girls. His therapist had to tell him he was married. He knew that he knew me, but he didn’t know I was his wife. I didn’t want the girls to see him like that, because he didn’t know them. Matt was basically like a newborn.”

At the Jim Thorpe Rehabilitation Center in Oklahoma City, Grice began making strides in October 2013. It took him a week to walk, and his memory returned in bits and pieces.

It still bothers Grice today that he did not remember, that suddenly Superman, the action hero who could walk through walls, did not know his wife or daughters. He needed help walking and cutting his food; and anyone who knows Grice knows him to be highly independent.

“It was almost as if we had to rekindle our relationship,” Caroline said. “Matt was really upset that he forgot he was married and that he had two daughters. His personality was different for a little while. There was a long time there that he couldn’t hold anything with his left hand. It was extremely frustrating watching him go through that. He wouldn’t let me cut his steak. He kept trying and trying. He never wanted help, and part of that was to show us that he was getting better.”

There was a blessing in this near-tragedy. Caroline got a chance to fall back in love with her husband -- and vice versa.

“We realized how important we are to each other,” Caroline said. “I would say Matt became the man I know a year after the accident. His voice came back. His personality was back. Within six months, he was walking and talking again, but he didn’t feel comfortable in his skin around me and the girls. He was learning who we are, and we were learning again who Matt was.”

Signs that Grice was returning to a more normal state came when he would get Caroline in a playful wrestling hold or apply that irritating pinch with which she had become so familiar.

“It is definitely a miracle,” she said. “I wish Matt knew how far he’s come. This wasn’t supposed to happen. He’s not supposed to be walking around and doing a lot of the same things he used to do before. I also like this version of Matt better, because I think he realizes that all of this was almost taken away. We’re closer than ever and spend all of our time together. I remember a doctor coming up and telling me that I should be commended for sticking around. In most cases like this, marriages don’t always survive. Leaving him wasn’t even a thought. I just wanted my husband back -- and I have him back, complete.”

Complete, that is, other than a scar that runs down the middle of his head. Monroe, the man who struck Grice from behind, never inquired about him. He never apologized.

“I understand people make mistakes, but if I was to do that to someone, I would at least write a letter,” Grice said. “I’ve learned to forgive him. Caroline gets on me about working out and sparring, and she keeps saying to me how serious the accident was. I really don’t remember my time in the hospital. My doctor told me the surgery they performed was the kind of surgery they do as a last-ditch effort to save someone’s life. I don’t know if I’m indestructible. I can be angry over what happened to me, but if my story can inspire someone from never quitting, it’s why God saved me. I try to get on with life as my new normal. Every time I look in the mirror and see my scar, it reminds me where I was. I’m the same me as I was before and thankful to be alive.”

Joseph Santoliquito is the president of the Boxing Writer's Association of America and a frequent contributor to Sherdog.com's mixed martial arts and boxing coverage. His archive can be found here.