The Holiday Gift Exchange

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Federal law insists that any blog entry filed within a 48-hour window of Christmas Day must include themes involving gifts, coal, snow, Santa, reindeer, end-of-year recognition or some kind of moral lesson. Will any of these pull you away from a third viewing of “A Christmas Story” on TBS? Probably not. But I have to try. Some gifts, returns, and bargain deals as 2010 winds down:

Gifts

For Chael Sonnen A SpeechTrans â„¢ text language translator that will allow him to antagonize opponents on Twitter in their native Japanese, Portuguese, or French. Sonnen est comme Dennis Miller, qu'avec hypogonadism.

For Keith Jardine A manager who will actually insist on purses being in escrow for his fighters before traveling to Thunderdome for a bout.

For Quinton Jackson A Criterion Collection DVD of “Stone Cold,” starring Brian Bosworth, to remind him of the perils of athletes trying to be actors.

For Alistair Overeem An arrangement with horse racing that would allow him to eat the last-place finisher of the 2011 Kentucky Derby.

Bargains

Herschel Walker The former NFL standout drew tons of mainstream attention for Strikeforce at a fraction of Fedor Emelianenko’s price tag.

The Dream Talent Exchange Maruis Zaromskis, Gegard Mousasi, Melvin Manhoef, and Shinya Aoki all fought for Strikeforce in 2010. In exchange, Strikeforce is sending over Josh Thomson for a New Year’s Eve show. Old proverb: If I give you four pebbles, and you give me one in return, I might be stupid.

World Extreme Cagefighting Seven events and at least 40 bouts, most on cable television.

Anthony Pettis A stellar fight with Benson Henderson -- and that replay-friendly kick -- cost Zuffa less than a pay-per-view commercial spot and is destined to provide ten times as much mileage.

Returns

James Toney A hyped-up boxing/MMA meeting with Randy Couture reportedly made no appreciable bump in business, wasn’t particularly entertaining, and allegedly cost Zuffa over a million dollars in combined purses.

Strikeforce on CBS No Fedor Emelianenko, no Herschel Walker, and no real executive interest in taking a viable MMA brand any further.

Tito Ortiz Megabucks salary isn’t commiserate with his results: he’s earned millions since 2006 despite having not won a single fight in that period of time.

UFC 112 The promotion’s first trip to Abu Dhabi was headlined by a noncompetitive fight between Matt Hughes and Renzo Gracie and Anderson Silva doing the "Truffle Shuffle" against Demian Maia. When the company president walks out in disgust, there’s a problem.